Ho Ho Ho
by myLITTLEnekoSHIRO
Summary: Christmas is around the corner and everyone has dumped all the responsibilities on Grimmjow! Including satisfying them! Watch how he handles everything AND manages to get Christmas together!


**I've been reading a lot of yaoi doushinji and lemme tell you all 'You're my loveprize in Viewfinder' is AWESOME! Like the BEST yaoi story EVER EVER EVER 3 3 3 *bazillion more hearts* truly inspiration(al).**

**Just thought I'd say that. Now, my next message is:**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!**

**And here's a Christmas special for all you uke Grimmjow lovers! You all deserve it! Hope you like ^w^**

**Christmas is around the corner and everyone has dumped all the responsibilities on Grimmjow! Including satisfying them ;D**

**Watch how he handles everything AND manages to get Christmas together!**

**P.S. it's a bit like a harem. Except…instead of the opposite sex it's of the same sex…but you know what I mean, right? :3**

**P.P.S. I'm trying something new where it's a lot more dialogue than description because description requires WAAAY more thinking and then posting the story gets delayed . Hence less description UNLESS describing a smutty scene :3 THAT normally requires less thought and is enjoyed more by all XD**

**Ah, isn't yaoi the most awesome present to ever get?**

**Ok ok note getting too long. ON WITH STORY!**

'MAN! I can't wait for Christmas tomorrow, you guys!' Grimmjow exclaimed excitedly as he joined his loft mates in front of the television.

'Uh huh,' Renji uttered listlessly as he flicked through channels.

'Whatever,' Shinji drawled as he flipped through a (porn) magazine.

Chad grunted.

'Sure,' Shirosaki yawned.

'I suppose,' Ulquiorra mused.

'Che,' Nnoitra scoffed.

Byakuya just hummed as he read his novel.

'Uh, Grimm?' Ichigo uttered and gave Grimmjow a sorry look. 'We kinda decided not to do anything for Christmas.'

'WHAAAT?' Grimmjow sprung off the couch in shock. 'BUT IT'S CHRISTMAS!'

'Ouch! Okay, no need to yell!' Ichigo exclaimed. Everyone turned their attention away from the screen to look at Grimmjow in amusement. 'Yeah, well, it's kinda late even if we did decide to do something! We've got nothing to prepare for it!'

'That's what you think!' Grimmjow stomped out of the room to head for their store room. 'Freaking lazy asses! Fine! I'm gonna prepare for Christmas myself! You guys can thank me later! Just stay outta my way!'

'Pssh!' Shirosaki scoffed. 'Why the hell would we wanna do that? We got better things to do! Right guys?'

'Right!'

Chad grunted.

* * *

><p>'Seriously!' Grimmjow complained as he finally emerged from the closet with a box of old Christmas decoration. Everyone had long cleared out by then just in case he dared ask them for help. 'It's fucking CHRISTMAS! Get into the spirit for once in your life, heartless bastards!'<p>

'Frankly, my dear, we didn't give a damn,' came a cool voice from nearby. Grimmjow glanced up momentarily before rummaging through the box he had set down on the floor.

'Go away, Ulquiorra,' he grumbled and pulled out a string of colored paper. 'I'm busy!'

'Don't worry, I don't plan on getting in your way,' the pale boy said curtly as he walked up to the busy bluenette.

He wrinkled his nose. Really, Christmas. He never felt the need to celebrate. It actually found it utterly pointless. What a useless holiday.

His eye caught something in the box as Grimmjow moved away with the string to go decorate the corner of the room.

'What's this?' he asked as he pulled out what looked like a cluster of leaves and berries.

'It's mistletoe,' Grimmjow answered and finished tying the string in one place before moving to the other side. 'During Christmas, anyone who stands under it have no choice but to kiss someone.'

'Pardon?' Ulquiorra uttered in confusion and stared in disbelief at the berries in his hand. This fruit had the power to make people kiss? That was absurd!

Then he raised an eyebrow and stared thoughtfully at the mistletoe in his head.

'Oh, Grimmjow?' he called out as he stood over the bluenette now. 'Do you mean like this?'

He placed the berries over his head. Grimmjow glanced up momentarily and then went back to his hunting.

'Yea, yea, just like that,' he uttered listlessly. Ulquiorra coughed.

'Well?' he asked, trying to keep the singsong tone out of his voice. He was really enjoying this.

'Well what?' Grimmjow said irritably.

'You're under mistletoe. Aren't you supposed to kiss somebody?'

'And who should I ki-!'

Grimmjow froze and wheeled around to glare at the pale boy.

'Oh, _hell_ no,' he muttered softly. Ulquiorra cocked his head to one side.

'Is something the matter?' he said in feigned concern as Grimmjow stood up.

'There is _no way_ I'm kiss you,' Grimmjow spat out.

'Well, _you're_ one who said it was the rule of Christmas.'

'Yes, but-!'

'For someone who's quite passionate about Christmas, you sure aren't upholding to its traditions.'

Rolling his eyes, Grimmjow started to retort when Ulquiorra grabbed the hair at the back of his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. The feel of those lips on his made his body tingle in excitement. The surprise kiss made Grimmjow squawk, giving Ulquiorra the perfect opportunity to snake his tongue into that hot cavern and lick every inch of it. When he had thoroughly ravished that mouth, he pulled away while simultaneously licking Grimmjow's bottom lip. He licked his own lips as he looked at a hazy-eyed, flushed Grimmjow who was panting hard. The faintest hint of a smirk formed on his face.

Perhaps Christmas wasn't as absurd as he thought.

* * *

><p>'Fuck!' Grimmjow swore as he heaved the giant tree up the stairs of the building to his loft. 'If I knew that the elevator was broken today I wouldn't have gone out to get such a big ass tree!'<p>

He stopped pulling and leaned against a wall to rest. He'd finally made it! Now all he has to do is get it through the door and-

He glanced at the door and groaned. _That_ was going to prove to be an even _bigger_ dilemma! Not that the tree wouldn't fit. But he was going to need a hand in bringing it in.

He rolled up his sleeves. Well, no time like the present. Might as well get started.

'Double fuck!' he grunted as he pushed and shoved the tree through the door but to no avail. It was stuck.

'Wow! Are we being invaded by trees?' cackled a voice from the other side.

'Nnoitra!' Grimmjow cried out and for once in his entire life, he was glad to hear the beanpole's voice. 'Quick! Give me a hand here!'

'Yeah, yeah, anyway, Grimm, I just remembered that you owe me a favor,' Nnoitra remarked impishly. Grimmjow growled as he continued to push the tree through the door, hoping he wouldn't need the pervert's help.

'And what would _that_ be?' he muttered and shoved the tree with his shoulder.

'Well, I kinda helped you out in that one place, at that one time, for that one reason…'

'Wow, I _totally_ know what you're talking about!' Another shove to the tree.

'_Anyways_, you owe me a fuck, ol' buddy!'

'What? Right now?'

Shit, the tree was shedding and was even sliding out instead of in! Grimmjow began pushing it even more frantically. If he fell down the stairs he won't just lose the feeling in his legs but the rest of the money he'd fucking spent on that tree!

'Well, I just remembered so yeah, right now!'

'Nnoitra-!' He shoved the tree. 'I'm kinda busy if you can't-!'

'Aw, come on, Grimm! You're always being a cockblock! Let's just do it and get it over with! And besides, it's Christmas! And all I want for Christmas is a nice, good, hard fu-!'

'I'll fucking do it with you if you fucking help me bring this fucking tree in before it fucking crushes me!'

'Okay, okay! Sheesh! For someone who loves Christmas you're really a big Scrooge today!'

* * *

><p>'There!' Grimmjow exclaimed in satisfaction as he got the tree on a stand (with a little help from Nnoitra). 'All done!'<p>

Nnoitra, who stood on the side, coughed loudly. Grimmjow narrowed his eyes at him before throwing his hands in the air.

'Okay, okay!' he said in exasperation and began to unbuckle his belt. 'Since you only take ten minutes, I suppose we can fuck.'

'Fuck yeah! Wait, what makes you think I take ten minutes?'

'Last year. Syazel's bachelor party?'

'You mean, when I was drunk?'

'Yup.'

'And you were too?'

'Yup.'

'And we did it?'

'Yup.'

'In his bedroom?'

'Yup.'

'Was I good?'

'Nope.'

'Damn it…'

* * *

><p>'I'll wrap it in this ribbon! It's going to look <em>so<em> awesome!' Grimmjow ranted in a high pitched voice before growling low in his throat as he struggled with a long and thick strand of red ribbon. 'Fucking overachieving, dickwad of an idea…'

He managed to drape a length over the tree's branch. Satisfied with at least untangling himself a little bit, he took a step back to place his foot in a loop on the floor. His movement tightened the loops and caused him to go crashing to the floor.

'FUCK!' he swore as miles of crimson silk bound him on the floor right under the tree like a freaking Christmas present. This had to be the worst Christmas _ever_!

'Wow! Did Santa read my 'What I Want For Christmas' list or something?' came a lecherous voice from nearby. Grimmjow glanced him and scowled into a pair of ochre eyes.

'Shiro!' Grimmjow growled and struggled even more but that just caused the ribbon to wind even more tightly around him. 'Help me out here!'

'Hmph, guess not,' Shiro exclaimed. 'Cause according to me list, you're supposed to be naked with a ball gag in your mouth and a dildo up your-!'

'WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET ME OUT OF THIS!' Grimmjow shouted as he felt his face heat up at the perverted albino's words. Shiro smirked.

'And why should I?' he purred and bent down. He tugged at the ribbon. 'You look pretty sexy wrapped up like this anyway.'

'Just…just untie me…please,' Grimmjow insisted, hating himself for begging. Shiro yawned.

'Or what?' he asked in a bored tone.

'If you do I'll…I'll…I'll let you have your way with me!'

Shiro's eyes lit up and his grin broadened.

'You serious?' he asked gleefully and rubbed his hands together. Grimmjow gulped and nodded. Shiro smirked and scurried away.

'Hey!' Grimmjow yelled in surprise. 'I thought I told you to get me out-!'

Shiro quickly returned with (Grimmjow's eyes widened in horror) a gag and a nine inch long dildo with PLENTY of ridges.

'What?' Shiro said innocently and strolled closer. 'You didn't expect me to have fun without my toys, did you?'

* * *

><p>'So you just put the mistletoe over his head?' Shinji said in awe.<p>

'That's right,' Ulquiorra remarked.

'And he kissed you?'

'He did.'

'And you got to kiss him?'

'Yes, I believe that's how it goes, Shinji.'

'Interesting…very, very interesting…'

* * *

><p>'Oh, Grimmjow!' Shinji sang as he pranced into the living room.<p>

'What is it, Shinji?' Grimmjow growled as he came from behind the tree he was decorating. Shinji grinned widely.

'Look! I got mistletoe!' he exclaimed proudly and placed the cluster of berries over his stomach _right_ over his 'junk'. Grimmjow's eyes narrowed.

'So?' he snapped.

'Well,' Shinji uttered with an impish twinkle and thrust his hips forward. 'You know the rules.'

All of a sudden, the room temperature dropped to icy cold.

* * *

><p>Grimmjow suddenly realized a huge shadow over him. He looked behind and scowled in irritation.<p>

'What is it, Chad?' he snapped.

Chad just stared. Grimmjow's eyes widened.

'You want me to do what!' he said incredulously.

'…'

'With what?'

'…'

'And you?'

'…'

'In there?'

'…'

Seriously?'

'…'

'…Okay.'

* * *

><p>'Okay, so I'll make the eggnog first and then start on the gingerbread house,' Grimmjow narrated to himself as he opened the fridge to find some alcohol. He scowled. He was pretty sure they had a bottle of bourbon whiskey just yesterday.<p>

He sighed and closed the door. Guess he'll have to pop down to the store and buy a bottle. Eggnog just wasn't complete without a 'dash' of whiskey!

He wheel around and almost smashed into Renji.

'Renji!' Grimmjow growled and glared at the redhead. 'What the fuck did I tell all of you to stay out of my way? Goddamn it, you all keep this up Imma gonna make you all part of the decorations I'm-!'

'Grimm, am I good looking?' Renji asked morosely. Grimmjow blinked in surprise.

'Uh,what?' he uttered, unsure of whether he heard his friend correctly. Renji sniffled. Grimmjow's eyes widened. Was Renji _crying_?

'It's just that…' he croaked and leaned against the kitchen counter. 'Hisagi just broke up with me an hour ago and I just don't know what I did wrong!'

Grimmjow scratched his head.

'Well, uh,' he said dumbly. Seriously, he wasn't the best person to give relationship advice. 'You know, um, Renji, it's, uh, it's always best to like, um, move on and stuff…'

'I mean is it the sex!' Renji suddenly wailed and came right up in Grimmjow's face, making the bluenette jump back right into the fridge. 'Because I can spice that up! If he's getting tired of me always doing it from behind then we can-!'

'Too much information, Renji!' Grimmjow snapped and covered the blabbering guy's mouth. Coming up close, he got a strong whiff of alcohol and his eyes narrowed. 'Did you just drink all the whiskey we had?'

'I feel pathetic,' Renji mumbled as he pushed Grimmjow's hand away and sniffled. He was even swaying in place. 'Nobody'll sleep with me. I'm a freaking pussy. No wonder Hisagi left me.'

'Renji,' Grimmjow sighed and rolled his eyes. 'Firstly, you shouldn't have had all that alcohol 'cause you're just sappy now. Secondly, you need to go and sleep this off. Christmas'll cheer you once I'm do-!'

'You'd still sleep with me right, Grimm?' Renji asked hopefully and suddenly clung to Grimmjow's sleeve. 'I mean, not like a pity fuck but because you care about me?'

'Uhhhhhhh…'

'Thanks, Grimm! I just knew I could count on you!' He suddenly began to drag Grimmjow out of the kitchen when Grimmjow snapped out of it. He tugged in the opposite direction.

'Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold up! Where the hell are you taking me?' Grimmjow yelped. Renji frowned at him.

'Well, you just said you'd sleep with me,' he answered nonchalantly. Grimmjow's eyes widened.

What the fuck! Did everyone see him as a fuck toy today or something?

'I never said anything like that, Renji!' Grimmjow said hastily and tried to escape but Renji held on tightly.

'But,' Renji said thickly. 'You're my friend.'

Grimmjow groaned. Oh fuck, he was going to cry again.

'Yes, I'm your friend,' Grimmjow tried to explain. 'And as your _friend_, I don't think I should sleep with you to make you feel better!'

'But…friends are always there for each other for whatever they want. And…and I think having sex with you will make me feel better. 'Cause you're really hot, Grimm, and maybe if I have sex with a really hot guy I won't feel too bad about Hisagi leaving-!'

'What did I say about giving me too much information, Renji!' Grimmjow snapped again and covered Renji's mouth _again_. Renji moved the hand.

'C'mon, Grimm?' he pleaded. 'I _really, really_ need this! It'll cheer me up! I think I'm going to break down if I don't do this! I mean, I'll forever be haunted by the idea that my penis was too small to-!'

'Okay, okay!' Grimmjow slammed his hand over Renji's mouth so he'd stop babbling embarrassing secrets. Renji better forget about this tomorrow because sadly Grimmjow couldn't now. 'I'll fucking sleep with you! Just don't ask me for this EVER again and leave me the fuck alone after this!'

Renji grinned broadly and gave Grimmjow a backbreaking hug.

'Thanks, Grimm!' he crowed in joy. Grimmjow tried to keep breathing.

Seriously, did he have to sleep with everyone to get a break around here?

* * *

><p>'This is so tacky,' Byakuya tutted as he fingered some green and red bows decorating the kitchen cabinets. Grimmjow glared at him. He wasn't looking for criticisms right now.<p>

'Well, jeez, sorry I don't have high class taste like you, Byakuya,' Grimmjow said coldly as he iced the gingerbread house. He thought it would cost less if he just made one. After all, Christmas was incomplete without one of these no matter how messy.

'It's called an aesthetic sense, Grimmjow, which you seem to lack,' the aloof man commented and glided through the kitchen before noticing the gingerbread house and wrinkling his nose. 'What on earth is _that_?'

Grimmjow was going to blow up this time. He glared at Byakuya, about to give him a piece of his mind, when he accidentally squeezed too hard on his icing bag and squirted it all over one end of the house.

'Fuck!' he groaned and now turned his glare at the ruined candy house. He _really _wanted to blame Byakuya but he knew it was his own fault for letting the snob get to him.

'You should fix that,' Byakuya pointed out. Grimmjow exhaled, trying to calm himself.

No shit, Sherlock,' he thought viciously and, sighing, scooped up a glob of icing to lick it off his finger. There was only one way to get rid of this and he wasn't going to waste good food.

Byakuya was about to leave when he saw Grimmjow licking his finger and he froze in his place. The bluenette stuck his tongue out to lick between his fingers, getting all the sweet stuff, before sucking (hard) on each finger and then pulling them out with a wet pop.

Byakuya clutched his shirt tightly, trying to stop himself from pouncing on the delectable man. If Grimmjow didn't stop right now Byakuya wasn't going to be responsible for what he did next.

'What?' Grimmjow snapped when he noticed Byakuya was staring so intently at him. There was a smear of icing on the corner of his mouth. It made him look kinda cute with that scowl he was wearing.

'You missed a corner,' Byakuya said smoothly and strolled to Grimmjow's side. He leaned forward, placing his hands on either side of Grimmjow's waist on the counter behind the bluenette. Grimmjow gaped at him as he leaned away to bump into the ledge of the counter.

'What the hell do you think you're doing?' Grimmjow said lowly. Byakuya managed a small smile, his face inches from the scowling man's.

'Helping,' he remarked and licked the icing from Grimmjow's mouth, causing the man to jump in surprise. But he didn't stop there. The stony man began licking Grimmjow's parted lips before connecting them.

Shocked, Grimmjow tried to push him away but Byakuya immediately grabbed his ass, making the bluenette squeak like a schoolgirl. Now smirking into the kiss, Byakuya hoisted Grimmjow onto the counter, sweeping the deformed gingerbread house off the table and onto the floor.

'Shit,' Grimmjow rasped as Byakuya now began to nip at his neck and, removing one hand from that round ass, started to unbuckle Grimmjow's belt. 'Cut…cut that out…'

'You let me continue,' Byakuya answered back and licked a protruding collarbone, grazing his teeth against the sensitive skin, 'and I'll make you a new gingerbread house.'

'_Ha_…_hn…_you better,' Grimmjow groaned. Byakuya smirked.

'Now let's see how sweet _you_ are down here,' he said teasingly. Grimmjow's eyes widened.

Oh fuck.

* * *

><p>'Wow,' Ichigo whistled as he walked into the completely transformed apartment. Grimmjow was in the corner, hastily decorating it, and had streamers wrapped around his entire body along with a stressed out look. 'This is <em>real<em> nice, Grimm-!'

'Fucking hell, if I have sex with you too will you please leave me alone so I can fucking finish!' Grimmjow groaned and smacked his forehead n exasperation.

'Woah, woah, calm down, Grimm!' Ichigo began in surprise. 'I didn't mean to butt in I just-!'

What Grimmjow said finally sunk in and he stared at the heavily breathing, stressed out bluenette. He blinked dumbly.

'Uh, yeah, sure, I'll leave if we have sex,' Ichigo said as calmly as he could. Sighing in relief, Grimmjow looked down to unbuckle his belt.

In the meantime, Ichigo fist pumped the air while doing a pelvic thrust and thanking Santa Claus for the perfect Christmas present EVER.

* * *

><p>'Merry Christmas, Ulquiorra!' Nnoitra cackled as he clinked his glass of eggnog with the pale boy's before downing it all in one go. Ulquiorra gave him a distasteful look before sipping his.<p>

'Wow, Grimmjow sure decorated this place nicely!' Shiro announced as he sauntered up to the duo with a Santa hat perched on his white shaggy hair. The other two nodded in agreement.

'It was rather nice of Byakuya to make the gingerbread house for him,' Ichigo exclaimed as he approached them with Chad.

Chad grunted.

'Speaking of which, where is Byakuya?' Ulquiorra queried.

'Mr. High and Mighty is visiting family,' Renji remarked. 'Still, at least he did his bit here before he left. He even wrote 'Merry Christmas' on the gingerbread house along with all our names on it! Wonder what Grimmjow did to make him do that?'

'By the way, Renji, is Hisagi coming?' Ichigo asked.

'Nah, we broke up.'

'Wow, you're taking it pretty well.'

'Grimmjow helped me get over it. It's best to move on, y'know?'

'Really? He helped?'

'Yup. Though I don't remember how. I think I blacked out. When I woke up, I remembered what he told me about moving on and I realized he was right and that's what I'm doing.'

'Speaking of which, where's Grimmjow?'

'He's sleeping,' Ulquiorra answered as he sipped his eggnog.

'He's the one who decorated all this and he's sleeping?' Nnoitra snorted.

'Y'know, this wouldn't have happened if it weren't for him,' Renji commented.

'Wish there was some way we could thank him,' Ichigo sighed and glanced at the beautifully decorated tree.

Chad grunted. Ichigo's eyes widened.

'You're right, Chad!' he exclaimed. 'Let's get him a present!'

'But what?' Shiro asked.

Chad grunted.

'That's it, Chad! Nice work!'

Chad grunted.

* * *

><p>'Psst! Grimm!' Ichigo whispered as he shook Grimmjow who was curled up on his bed on his stomach.<p>

Grimmjow snored and shimmied away from Ichigo's hand.

'I'm too tired to do it right now,' he mumbled and turned over. 'Gimme a few more minutes.'

'Wonder what he's dreaming about,' Renji murmured aloud.

'Yo! Grimm! Wake up!' Shiro yelled. Grimmjow jumped awake, startled. He gazed in surprise at everyone surrounding his bed.

'What're you guys doing here?' he asked curiously. Ulquiorra came forward and placed a giant present wrapped in striped blue and white paper in front of him.

'Merry fucking Christmas, blue boy,' Nnoitra grinned. Grimmjow raised his eyebrows at his friends before tearing away at the wrapping paper. His eyes widened when he saw what it was.

'An iPad?' he said incredulously and stared in awe at the Apple product. 'You guys shouldn't-!'

'We wanted to,' Ichigo cut in. 'You didn't have to decorate the loft for Christmas but you did anyways. We just thought we'd thank you for it by giving you this.'

'So you better be grateful,' Nnoitra grumbled. 'I won't be able to buy my dose of weed this week!'

Grimmjow grinned at them.

'Thanks you guys,' he said gratefully and stared lovingly at the little gadget. Shiro looked around and scratched his head under his hat.

'Hey, does anyone know where Shiro is?' he asked in confusion.

* * *

><p>'Hello?' Shinji yelled as he banged at the balcony door of the loft in nothing but his underwear. It was freezing and he wanted to get in fast. 'Is anyone there? Can someone let me in? I'm fucking freezing and people are starting to notice me from down there! Hello? Okay, I'm sorry, Grimm! Forget about the mistletoe! JUST LET ME FUCKING IN!'<p>

**Merry Christmas!**

**And sorry if I haven't updated everything else! I've been on holiday in DC and LOVED IT! Spent time with a side of my family I haven't seen for years and we went CRAZY!**

**Hahahaha**

**Well, thanks for reading reviewing ^^**


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